Being a woman seems to open the door for a level of shenanigans that most men don’t have to deal with. From pregnancy to just womanhood in general, we seem to consistently be accosted with ridiculous questions. Not only are they ridiculous but they can even be downright invasive. What questions fall into this category, right?
10 Questions To Never Ask A Woman
1. When are you going to get married/Why are you single?
What if marriage isn’t her priority? What if she decided long ago she wanted to be married to her career instead of another person? Or what if this is her goal and you’ve just highlighted how she’s not living her dream? These are both some of the dumbest questions ever. If she knew and wanted to change that don’t you think she would? Not only that, this question is incredibly insensitive, rude and invasive. Unless it’s part of some odd proposal, don’t ask this.
2. When are you having children?
Sometimes I wish it were as appropriate to pop people in the mouth who ask this as it were for the question to be asked. Many women don’t want to have children and even more women have tried without success. This is such a sore topic for us and many of us hide the pain and frustration that accompanies this topic.
3. Are you pregnant?
I’m a woman AND pregnant and I wouldn’t dare to ask another woman this question without happening to overhear her mention how excited/nervous/anxious she was about the pending bundle of joy nesting in her belly. Why? For starters we hold stress weight in our stomachs. Unfortunately being accosted by all of these questions ISN’T STRESSFUL ENOUGH for us and we deal with other things like sexism, motherhood, wifehood, etc on a daily basis. Also, we get bloated. We have PCOS. There are so many reasons OUTSIDE OF pregnancy that our tummy region may be swollen. Don’t be insensitive. If we want you to know our business, we’ll tell it.
4. When are you going to have another child?
I was asked this literally as I was pushing abc out of my body with the pain of having a baby without meds still radiating through my body. As in my placenta was still kicking it up in my body and we were trying to get her on the boob and figure out life. Why are people so preoccupied with others populating the world? Now I could see if it were another woman who was about to ask the question of “would you be my surrogate” in there because that may be pertinent but outside of that, stop assuming that once we have one we’re going to populate the world. Not all of us plan on being the Duggars–no shade, just not for me and my womb. Pregnancy is NOT fun. Children are NOT cheap on anything–time, emotion, money. So unless you’re coming up off all these, don’t ask.
5. Are you going to try for a <insert sex/gender of the child they don’t have>?
This question is always so confusing to me. Making the choice to have a child should be filled with joy and excitement and orgasms and flushed faces. I understand that this isn’t what it looks like for all. In fact, Chrissy Teigan (she’s awesome) publicly highlighted the struggles of fertility. She and John made the choice in what gender children to have because of how they went about getting pregnant. Unless you’re offering IVF or other fertility treatments, how do you suppose we go about choosing the sex/gender of our unborn (and possibly unplanned) children? And in all seriousness, most of us just want healthy babies. Sure, it sounds cliche until there’s a threat or reality of you losing your child. It’s not cliche at all though.
6. Is <insert random part of a woman’s body> real?
Say what now!?!? I’ve been asked if my hair was real and I get that with modern science people can further enhance parts of their bodies but what makes you think this is an appropriate question to ask? Seriously. If anyone wanted this information to be public knowledge then they would walk around talking about it. Be clear that once I have this baby, I will gladly get some things nipped, tucked and raised (heeeeeey Atlanta plastic surgeons!!!) but I may not want people to know! And you know some women are blessed with naturally perky breasts, rotund booties, and amazing hair–don’t belittle their beauty!
7. How do you do it all?
I’m a seamstresss, blogger, small business consultant who homeschools their children while being happily married and pregnant. My friends are moms who are entrepreneurs or other women (and some men) who are doing big things in life and this is a question that we are all constantly asked. While it may come off as a compliment, when we’re asked most of us don’t know what to say. Like really, what does an answer to that look like? Like when asked, do you really want the truth of how we’re tired practically all the time but we see it as being worthwhile? Or that we just make things happen?
8. Have you ever thought of selling/joining an MLM?
Now I have friends that totally rock this out and are really successful with their companies and no shade to that at all. But I’ve also been asked more consistently to join one than any other question in the world. Do men get asked this question as much? I know my husband hasn’t been asked not once if he wanted to sell makeup/wraps/vitamins/drops/wine/his last born child. What makes women the prime target for this?
9. How could you not want children?
Now I’m a mom of 3 and find this question rude as hell. Being pregnant isn’t fun. As eventually rewarding as it may be, raising children isn’t always fun either. As women, our bodies will literally grow a person (painful), push the person out or have surgery (painful), raise the child (painful and expensive) and hope that they’re a great addition to society. While for some this is sheer glory, for others it just isn’t. I get that motherhood and being a natural nurturer is supposedly every woman’s dream but it isn’t. We live in times where we have more choices in life, careers, and dreams.
10. Who’s plate do you fix first–your husband or your childrens?
What.The.Entire.F-bomb. Listen, if I just slaved over this hot ass stove the first plate I’m fixing is my own! Please get out of here with the epitome of sexism! In all honesty, I fix my kid’s plates first because the food is hot and I want theirs to cool down. Then I fix mine and then my husbands so that I can make sure that he gets the most food. But people like to seriously judge whether or not a woman’s marriage is strong based on who’s plate gets fixed first. Please miss me with this line of thinking.
Big shout out to my Facebook friends that were able to remind me of the questions we’re constantly accosted with!!!
So ladies, did I miss any?