Sometimes I miss the old days of being cell phone free. Cell phones seem to say to others “I welcome your instant access to me” when in fact that’s not how most of us feel. While I have no idea what I would do without my phone, there are still many days I wish I didn’t have it.
Confession: I Hate Talking On The Phone
I’m one of those people that hates talking on the phone now. Most of it is related to motherhood and a lot of it is just I hate having someone literally in my ear. It gives me a headache and most of the time I’m not paying attention to the conversation because, well, life. But since becoming a WAHM, I get more calls than ever and I’m not sure if it’s because people think I now have all the time in the world as I try to balance pregnancy, a toddler, a child, paying sewing projects, writing and consulting. Sure, I have all the time in the world to sit and chat about this and that wipes sarcasm off the phone I’m typing on as I ride with my husband to work.
Sometime a couple weeks ago as I was trying to take a nap and my toddler was making my dining room look like a Smurf massacre just happened, my mom called me and then sent a text asking me if I was really that busy that I couldn’t answer the phone.
4 Reasons Why Moms Aren’t Answering The Phone
1. They are working.
Sure, they’re working at home but they are working nonetheless. Just like if someone worked outside the home you don’t call them 50 million times throughout the day, a mom doesn’t have time to talk either. If they work from home or even if they’re a SAHM, our hands, minds and patience are all occupied. When I’m not working on my business, I’m working with my kids. The one time I took 30 minutes to try and refresh with a quick nap I ended up with blue paint everywhere.
2. Your phone call isn’t as important as what they’re currently doing.
Way harsh, right? Also way true. Just because you call 50 times in a row without sending a text message doesn’t mean that what we’re doing all of a sudden becomes less important. Yes, all of our phones make and receive calls but that doesn’t mean that it’s not invasive to keep calling until you get an answer. It’s rude. What you’re basically saying is “I don’t care what you have going on. What I have to say to you is more important.” As someone who’s handled the blue paint debacle, new clients, dehydration, signs of early labor, rushing one child to the ER, a happy marriage, and functioning off one car all in the last 2 weeks I can almost guarantee that what you have to say isn’t more important than what I’m dealing with AND I don’t have the bandwidth to handle it.
3. We really are just that busy.
In this moment I’m preparing for a 3rd child, researching and writing out lesson plans for both a 2nd/3rd grader & 3 yo, trying to remember to register at our hospital of choice, preparing my clients for maternity leave, preparing my house for BC, caring for the pre-existing children, writing enough articles so my sites don’t go dead when I have the baby, and being a wife. When I’m not fighting off sheer exhaustion during abc’s nap time, I’m hustling. These activities include emailing with brands that I think my audience will love, researching, and seeing how I can help fellow entrepreneurs.
4. When we aren’t “busy” we don’t feel like talking.
Sure. The kids go to sleep. We try and shut our work down. And when all that happens, talking on the phone normally isn’t top priority. The early mornings and the late evenings are literally the only time that my husband and I have to ourselves and I value you this. I really love and enjoy the man that I married. If there’s a choice between talking on the phone or talking to him, he’s going to win hands down. But seriously, after a day filled with constant engagement (to be read as fussing at my children, coaching myself to stop self-sabotage, and more) a phone call isn’t as relaxing as it might seem–especially one that’s filled with guilt from me not being available on someone else’s time.
How Do You Engage With A Mom?
It’s way easier than you would imagine–ask what works best for her and then respect that. For me, written messages work simply because I can answer them in between fussing, activities, etc. FaceTime pretty much never works for me because wearing clothing unless I leave the house is just not happening. Some moms love a voicemail. Me? I don’t listen to them ever and courtesy of visual voicemail, I don’t even have to in order to delete them and reduce my anxiety of seeing all those red bubbles with how many new voicemail I have. And sure, all this seems selfish but trust me, protecting ones peace is anything but selfish.