I used to be a people pleaser and really try to be “that” person. But then I became a mom.
7 Things I Stopped Caring About When I Became A Mom
1. What People Thought Of My Lifestyle
Sure, I’m happily married now but I wasn’t always. I got pregnant with mini rebounding from my divorce from my first marriage. Scandalous, right? When I found out I was pregnant, I always felt the need to explain myself and how I ended up pregnant. Then I felt the need to try hard not to be that “baby mama” which came with a whole other set of things I felt the need to defend. And then I realized that I honestly didn’t care. So I stopped explaining myself and my situation.
2. Dressing Like A Responsible Mom
Though the definition of what that looks like surely has shifted (have you seen those hideous mom jeans with clear knees at Nordstrom?). After mini was born I wore some pretty lame things–until I stopped caring. I started thrifting and mixing prints and just rediscovering my style while throwing to the wind the self-imposed expectations that I was supposed to lose my cutting edge style to motherhood.
3. Trying To Impress Other Mothers
Becoming a mom is like joining a sorority. And just like with sororities, there are different categories of moms. You’ve got your SAHM, your WAHM, your attachment parenting, helicopter moms, and more. No matter what you do, petty moms from each group are ready to discredit, critique and basically shit on everything you’re doing with your kid. To this I say eff them and trying to impress them.
4. Trying To Impress Others Period
This one was super hard for me because I’ve struggled with people pleasing for, like, ever. But when it came down to it, trying to impress everyone made me a terribly unfulfilled mom. Instead of doing what I wanted with mini I was doing what I thought others thought I should be doing. So again, I had to say eff it.
5. Putting My Kids Before Me
Nope. I don’t do that. All this “my kids come before me, my husband, my world” doesn’t work for me so I threw that entire concept out the window. If I don’t take superb care of myself how can I care for anyone else?
6. Allowing Myself To Take Shortcuts In Life
After I had mini I knew that I had to make some changes in my life. Going through the move to Atlanta, adjusting to life as a single mom, and more had me in a dark place. I was nursing mini so I couldn’t drown myself in wine so I picked up healthier habits. I started running and eating better and just really focusing on being healthier in life period.
7. Being Perfect
I used to have this obsession with appearing as though I ALWAYS had my shit together. Like I would be sitting amidst a shit-storm and would give the impression that all was well. Now? Listen. Things aren’t perfect though they are pretty balanced. I have days where I need my entire village to hold me up and then days where I’m rocking things out. Balance, right? But I no longer “fake the funk”. If I’m struggling, I say it. If I’m in a place to offer help, I offer it.