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    which comes first? the other chicken or the egg?

    proverbially speaking of course.

    but in a marriage, which do you put first, your marriage/spouse or your children? this has been a hot topic and was recently (as in today) posed to me as well. my answer has always been the same. my spouse comes first.

    some people might be up in arms like, “OMG how could you put anything before your child?!?” for those that are religious, it’s in the bible it speaks to putting your spouse first always. for those that aren’t religious, it honestly just makes sense. just like how it’s crucial for a mom to have “me time” to be a better mother, it’s equally as important for spouses to have a strong connection so they can parent cohesively.

    even outside of parenting, your children are going to grow up and leave you and then have families of their own. if you’ve neglected your spouse during the time that you were raising your children, once they leave, you’re left with a stranger. the very cute chick flick “failure to launch” with matthew mcconaughey and sarah jessica parker touches on this. in the movie, once mcconaughey finally moves out at like 35, the mom doesn’t know how to act outside of her role as a mother.

    in all honesty, my priorities are as follows: God, me, the hubs, the babes. yes, in that order. if my spirit isn’t right, then honestly, nothing else is right either. for some this looks like a relationship with God through religion or other spiritual paths. for others, this may look differently. after getting my spirit right, then comes me. so what this looks like to me is making sure i’m taking the time out to handle what’s important for my growth and sanity. on sunday mornings, i take time out to give myself a facial and deep condition my hair, i work out, i make sure that the foods i’m putting in my body are healthy and delicious.

    these things come before my husband because i want to be a whole person for him. i don’t believe in this whole “you complete me” jazz. i want to be a whole person just like i want him to be complete as well. that way when we come together, we’re even greater. nurturing a connection with my husband is vital for my role as a mother and as a woman. we need to connect on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. we do this through texts throughout the day, conversations at night, snuggling, and other intimate times. we’re able to discuss parenting among other things that are important.

    having this strong connection with my husband makes us better parents for our girls. he knows how i feel about certain things and i know his feelings as well. so when mini comes and asks me something that she’s already gotten a “no” out of him for, i also say know showing a united front. but because he and i are affectionate, respectful, and loving, it sets the standard for what mini and baby abc should expect from relationships as well.

    so for me, the other chicken comes before the eggs–that way there’ll be more eggs 😉

    friday funny: the thing baby abc doesn’t have time for

    my husband and i working on our connection.

    yep, abc made this perfectly clear last night. what do i mean right?

    backstory: i believe in most of the principles of attachment parenting. this was an easy philosophy to adopt when i was a single mother. i would wear mini all.the.time. she slept with me until she was 1–like literally her first birthday was the first time she slept in a different room than me. so naturally with baby abc i’ve been going the same route. but things are a little different because i’m not single and i’m newly married. the hubs and i still have some newly wed bonding to do!

    current story: i’ve been working on getting baby abc to sleep on her own. she is probably the inventor of snuggling. she takes expert snuggling to the next level so getting her to sleep in her own space on her own is a challenge. this should really be read as mommy loves snuggling with her baby and isn’t 100% ready to have her sleeping on her own. i digress…

    last night we did our nightly routine: she screams and hollers at me and her boob till she finally calms down and lets the effects of nursing and snuggles take place. i put her into her co-sleeper next to bed. boom. she’s sleeping wonderfully. the hubs comes upstairs–i was getting my thursday night tv fix– and we snuggle, have pillow chat and really connect. it was great to just have some alone time with my husband! so great that we stayed up till her first nursing talking. but this was good! i nursed her, put her back in her co-sleeper, the hubs and i snuggled up and finally fell asleep around 12:30.

    here’s where i messed up……. abc starting rustling to nurse again around 4ish. i was half sleep and kinda woke her up when i put her in the bed to nurse. she latches, i fall back to sleep, she doesn’t. i wake up horrified as she begins boxing my nipple. major ouch. and then she wouldn’t go back to sleep! she was looking at me all cute and bright eyed with a look that said “i don’t give a single damb about you and daddy reconnecting!!! get your lazy butt up and rock me to sleep”.

    and i did.

    she had no regard for me trying to bond with my man… the nerve of her.

    equipped with new equipment

    during yesterday’s postpartum doctor’s appointment i was given the all clear to resume my normal activities. after the awkward moment where my doc told me that i needed to make sure to use condoms during “all normal activities” in front of my mom, i began to rejoice! i celebrated this monumental moment by cancelling my LA fitness membership and shopping for some tools to use at home. as absurd as it sounds, i absolutely cannot wait to use all the things that i got!

    so what did i get and how do i plan on using them?

    kettle bell (8lb)

    i really wanted a 10 and 15lb kettle bell but all i could find at tj maxx was the 8lb one. i took that as the universe’s way of telling me to calm down and ease back into things. i fell in love with kettle bells about 3 years ago. i used to go to retro fitness and they had a bunch. one of the fitness apps i used at the time incorporated them. then i trained with a trainer that used to try to kill me with kettle bell swings. i loved every moment of it. i’ve found some really awesome HiiT workouts that will incorporate using the kettle bell. one of the great resources i’ve found for kettle bell moves is on the greatist‘s website.

    weighted gloves

    during my first couple of workouts i did a lot of punches and some secondary arm movements that would have been more effective if i had some more weight on there. so i found these nifty weighted gloves that are more comfy than the wrist weights. plus, when i use the kettle bell it’ll increase the weight as well.

    weighted jump rope 

    there’s nothing like doing strength training and cardio at the same time. talk about an increase in effectiveness. i remember the first time that i used one i was so sore after. this is what i’m looking for. this will be perfect for the high impact/cardio parts of my workouts.

    i didn’t use any of them today since i went for a jog–and i use this term loosely. it started out as a nice jog and then it went to a walk with some jogging sprinkled in there. my legs are super sore already from monday and tuesdays workouts. i feel like i barely did anything in my little 20 min workouts but apparently i was mistaken.

    what equipment do you use when working out? what are some of your most effective workouts?