Almost a week ago I had a slight breakdown as I took a look at my life and realized that I’d let go of and stopped nurturing my friendships. Motherhood is a lonely road and is made more lonely by allowing yourself to be invested in just one aspect of your life–your kids. It was at this time I realized that I needed to do a better job in nurturing friendships because ultimately, it nurtures myself.
But I’m Too Busy For To Prioritize Friends
Girl. I feel you. I feel you in the most intimate way because this is something that I said to myself often.
But here’s the thing: if you feel lonely (not just alone) it’s time to allow other people to be part of your life. This is a HUGE struggle for me. In fact, creating and nurturing vulnerable and intimate friendships is NOT my strong suit. My husband is my best friend because he’s the only person that stuck around long enough to break down the fortress that I’ve built around the core of who I am.
Look, I’m a work in progress.
Here’s the thing: you’re always going to be busy but we make time for the things we want to. And you’re worth being stuck in a single, static roll. There’s more to you than just being a mom and that part of you needs nurturing too.
My Friends Don’t Have Kids
Good. Even better. Kidless friends are the most slept on asset in this game of life.
My favorite kidless friend is Vee. She’s someone that I’ve done photoshoots with, have had a crazy good time with but also loves my babies. She’s kept them and done painting projects while telling me to go about my business while she invests and pours into my children.
But more importantly, we can be honest with each other about where we are emotionally and mentally and she doesn’t take it personal. While she may not know personally the exhaustion that comes with homeschooling 3 children while working full time on your own business and trying to grow, she’s compassionate and loving.
Get a kidless friend. They’re amazing
I Don’t Have Friends
Same. Just kidding.
But sometimes I feel like I don’t. This isn’t something that has to do with them as much as it has to do with me and where I am in life. This also has to do with my needs in the moment.
What I’m saying is that you probably have friends but feel like you don’t because you haven’t communicated what you need in your friendships so it feels like that no one is showing up for you. Let me be clear, I’m writing this out for myself as much as I am for people to read.
Tell the people in your life what you need. It may be coffee in person weekly or more communication via text. But share and allow your friends to show up.
Motherhood is lonely BUT it doesn’t have to be. Friends help to normalize our experiences in life and balance the craziness that is motherhood. Make new friends, build relationships, nurture the existing. They’re worth it and so are you.