Let me preface this by saying that both of my kids are all sorts of awesome and amazing in their own right–as well as incredibly frustrating. But I did create some rather great kids, despite what I’m about to share. I play favorites with my children and I challenge every mom who says that they don’t have a favorite to stop hiding behind the PC nature that social media has taught us to hide behind.
In our household, the favorite child is a fluid position that both abc and mini are able to hold but contrary to popular thoughts and public
lack of transparency, there is ALWAYS one that is favored over the other.
The baby is normally the favorite…
For awhile anyway. Unless you have a baby that is constantly crying and kind of a sourpuss, then yes, the baby is the favorite. I remember it just like it was yesterday the births of both my girls. I had relatively easy labors (because who’s labor is REALLY easy?) and was able to push them both out with 2 pushes after a pain-med free labor. They both entered the world lungs first exclaiming their displeasure at being forcefully pushed into this world but the both calmed immediately. Both my girls were really loving and easy babies. And both hit their “terrible” two’s earlier than anticipated.
The toddler is normally NOT the favorite…
Up until the last couple of weeks, I’ve got no shame in admitting that abc was absolutely my favorite. Mini is not a bad child by any stretch of imagination (she’s had her moments of mischievous) but abc was this snuggly, adorable little pudge that didn’t talk back, yell, and did like she was asked (ok, I’m lying but you get my point). But then a couple of weeks ago hit and she became this tyrannical toddler screaming out “NO” and “MINE” and yelling incomprehensible Martian at us. Where oh where is my sweet baby!?!??!?!
Gone. But not forgotten.
And in slides the more mature child…
They’ve been patiently waiting for their time to be favorite again. And now it’s their time to shine. Mini has hit a growth spurt in her maturity levels. She’s not perfect, but she’s been taken off her behavior chart at school (yay!!!) and is a way better listener at home (double yay!!!!) and she has slid back into the position of favorite child. I realized that she had regained her title as I stood watching in disbelief as abc had a full out breakdown in the hallway of the gym.
Full. Out. Breakdown.
Like strangers were stopping and wondering where her mother was as I stood wondering where my sweet child was. Neither of us could be found until she finally got her life together, picked herself up, and walked over to where mini and I stood waiting patiently. All I could do was give her a defeated look as I thought to myself “You lost your title cutie pie“.
Having a favorite IS OK and normal
The picture perfect moms probably will never admit it but I’m grounded enough to not only admit it, but to justify it as well. People FAVOR things and other people. It’s normal. Just because one child is FAVORED over another in no way says that they are LOVED more than the other. That is not what I’m saying at all. I love both my girls so much–they were both my little unexpected but highly coveted gifts. But just like I favor my husband over every other man (unless Channing Tatum becomes available) in the world, favoring one child over another because of something like their behavior (which can quite literally make or break your day), is not so far fetched. And it’s more than ok.