Last year was a huge transitional time for my family and I. Going from a homeschooling family with my kids around me all the time to them being in school full time was glorious–but also made me feel disconnected from them. Instead of using the time that they were in school to catch up things with myself, I immersed myself into work and creating. When I finally went to do the doctor, I was told that I was pre-diabetic.
How did I get here?
Why I Went To The Doctor
Prior to my physical in October, I hadn’t been to the doctor since I’d had BC. And then prior to that, the last physical I had was in 2013. Since 2013, there have been A LOT of changes in my life, my body, my everything. I’ve always struggled with weight and every time I went to the doctor, I was told that I needed to lose weight. Even at my last physical in 2013 when I weighed 185, I was put on phen-phen to help me lose more weight so that my BMI would be considered healthy. Never mind the fact that I ate healthy, worked out 6 days a week and had the heart rate of a marathon runner.
But now? Well I’m more than 100lbs heavier and it’s not something I’m completely comfortable with. And I wasn’t feeling well. I was exhausted all.the.time. Like I would wake up to take naps and couldn’t function without excessive amounts of caffeine. Because of consistently being shamed by doctors in the past for my weight, I was really hesitant to go in but I knew if I didn’t, I would just end up feeling worse. My thought at the moment was that I couldn’t be sick for my babies.
I Researched Doctors That Would Work For Me
By research, I mean I asked my friends on Facebook for body positive, women doctors that were covered under my insurance. One of my friends who does a really incredible job in advocating for her health gave me a referral. I had so much anxiety about making the appointment that it took a month to get in to see her. By the time I walked in, I was a mess.
Going To The Doctor Gave Me A Full On Anxiety Attack
The morning of my appointment came and I was exhausted. And then I had an anxiety attack where I couldn’t stop crying as I tried to get my son out the door. I popped 2 Anxiety Free and it calmed my nerves enough to get us out the door. I treated myself to a venti Starbucks coffee because, per usual, I wasn’t feeling awake. Friends, I had a triple shot of espresso and could barely stay awake enough to answer the nurses questions.
Once the doctor came in, I lost it again and became a sobbing mess. And you know what? For the first time in my adult life, I felt heard by my doctor. She listened to what I was saying, affirmed my presence there and gave me next steps for my blood test.
And Then My Blood Test Came Back… I Was Pre-Diabetic
I think I watched my email for days for the blood test results to come back. When they did, Google took me down a trail that basically said I was dying. Luckily I have friends that are nurses and deciphered what my blood tests were saying: I was pre-diabetic. I was shocked. Embarrassed. Confused.
How did I get here? I ate pretty healthy. I wasn’t as active as I once was but I was still fairly active.
And then I remembered. Not only am I predisposed to diabetes but every day after school for like a month, the kids and I would get slurpees while we caught up with each other. I wasn’t getting the small sizes either. The amount of sugar in each slurpee is more than we should be intaking in a week and I was having one per day. No wonder my sugar levels shot up.
Having To Change My Lifestyle
I could not believe that I was pre-diabetic but my doctor confirmed it as she made the recommendation for me to take Metformin which is common to be prescribed when you are struggling with elevated sugar-levels. I was sad and disappointed in myself for allowing my health to get so out of control. But I opted against taking the Metformin.