I binge watched Issa Rae’s “Insecure” in four hours today when I was supposed to be writing a post about some divine cookies. Instead, I was rapping along as she talked about a broken pu$$y, laughed at her relatable awkward moments, felt nostalgia at the relationship with her bestie, and felt the devastation along with the world during the last episode. Let me stop right here and put in a PSA: there will be spoilers here and possibly tears as I write this. I became so emotionally attached to Issa and Lawrence’s relationship that I was emotionally distraught towards the end. The only thing I wanted was to be in my husband’s arms.
I’m not going to lie, I’m 100% #TeamIssa all the way. I mean, we women have to stick together, right? Mistakes happen. Sometimes we slip, fall and end up on someone else’s nether regions—no judgement, right? Ok, maybe a little judgement. But in the beginning of “Insecure” I could totally relate to how she was feeling in her relationship with Lawrence. I’m pretty sure that most of us have been in that complacent place in a relationship but you’re legit in love with the person so you don’t want to leave but you also don’t want to stay—it’s a hard place to be in.
When I was in my relationship in college this is how I felt. He was such an amazing person and he knew me so well. Our family’s knew each other. I was certain he was the one. But then things just got complacent. I was still in college and he was still figuring out life and I was tired a la Issa. Mistakes happen… blah blah blah blah blah.
But I’m also for a good guy. I believe in the good guys winning at life. I don’t believe they finish last. Which is why I married one. I thought that the attention to Lawrence when he wasn’t on screen with Issa was so important. They did a phenomenal job in developing his character. This guy was really trying and putting that work in. Issa identified a problem with their relationship and he worked hard to fix it. Date nights, cooking, getting a job, etc. showed that his choice was her through and through.
Any man who is willing make the needed changes to make his woman happy is a keeper. The emotion that he showed in finding out about her cheating on him was heartbreaking. Like watching this I just wanted to hug him and give him the mama pat on the back. And then he did what was expected: ended up between the legs (or behind to be more accurate) of the woman who recognized the potential and the present. All I could do was shake my head as the tears poured out of my eyes.
I Love My Husband But More Importantly I Appreciate Him
After I took a step back and removed myself from all the feelings that this show gave me, the only thing I could do was text my husband that I loved him. If you’re a long-time reader here, you already know I’m not traveling without him with our two minions. My husband is not perfect. He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, doesn’t always clean the kitchen despite our agreement, fusses at the kids, and isn’t the most romantic guy in the world but you know what? He’s pretty damn awesome.
He comes home every.single.day and listens to me go on and on about my dreams and goals for my business while tackling our children. He’s the only source of testosterone in our strongly estrogenated house (yes, I made that word up). And this man loves me so much that he’s constantly improving himself to make sure that we’re beyond good. He tries his hardest to make sure that I’m happy.
I love my husband so much. Our marriage is the icing on the cake of life and our friendship is like crushed Oreo’s on top—so delicious. Not that I would ever cheat on him but seeing the pain and the reaction to Issa’s actions really took a lot out of me because I would never want my husband to feel that way about anything that I did. I always want him to know that I love and appreciate him for the man is today as well as who he’s growing into.
And I share this with you guys because I don’t want any of you to be Issa crying on the couch while your Lawrence is stroking the woman who’s been stroking his ego waiting for her chance. Ladies, love your significant other. Like really love them and allow yourselves to be loved by them as well. There’s nothing perfect in the world but that doesn’t mean you don’t give your best and your all.
Don’t be Issa on the couch.