Being a mom, wife, business owner, <insert the rest of the hats that I wear> is hard. There are many days where I go to bed just feeling like a failure because I didn’t complete everything that I’d planned on or the baby was especially ornery or I wasn’t as patient as I would have like to have been with mini. Or maybe I didn’t cook dinner and I went grocery shopping.
Either way, guilt, frustration, anger sets in and I become more susceptible to the feelings of overwhelming that I hate.
When these moments come, I know it’s time for me to take a short break from life and head into one of my many sacred spaces where I can re-center myself and refill my proverbial well so that I can be back to the happy and emotionally healthy mommy.
After a good couple of days of especially ornery conversations with one of my sister-friends and realizing that the overwhelming feelings had caught up to me, she suggested that we start journaling. At first I scoffed at the idea because in my head, blogging is a form of journaling but there’s a lot that I have going on emotionally at times that I’m not just going to dump on the world wide web. I tried just doing a gratitude list (it’s the month of thanks right?) but that didn’t work for me. Not that I don’t believe in focusing on the positive but that never really addresses the negative or the struggles. My first 2 days of journaling I wrote 4 pages each day. That’s a lot of writing. But after writing and then really thinking through my emotions, how I’ve been feeling, and finally identifying the root cause for my feelings, I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. I was back to myself which includes laughing till crying, snorting, and witty one-liners.
Cleaning My Room
One of the lessons that we went over in premarital counseling was in keeping your bedroom as a sacred space for you and your spouse. I so agree with this. But with kids, work, and only 24 hours in a day, our room was getting messy and so was the communication between my husband and I. You know how they say “Happy Wife, Happy Life”? Well it’s true. In our case, my husbands happiness is in direct relation to my own. Granted, we did need to straighten up our room, but more importantly was that we had to clear the air between us and get back on our “happily ever after”. We agreed that our sacred space in our room would be our safe ground for any conversation and I love that we’re able to handle whatever stresses are happening in our sacred space. My husband is truly my best friend, partner, and teammate so when we’re on the same page, I know that I can tackle anything and there are no longer the feelings of being overwhelmed.
Relaxing In Nature
I love being outside. Growing up, we had a hammock and I would go outside and read or cloud watch or just observe nature. My favorite times were snuggling up with my dad and talking about about whatever as we were suspended in the air comfortably. In every place I’ve moved to, I’ve looked for a hammock that didn’t involve me putting a hole in a tree (because that is so not good for the environment) and have finally found one. Not only was I able to install it really fast, but I was able to relax in it immediately and watch the sunset as I de-stressed for the day. Laying in my hammock takes me back to childhood and the feelings of nostalgia are so comforting. Just like my hammock growing up, this one is a double hammock so the kids and/or hubs can join me (if they’re acting right, ha!).
These sacred spaces have kept my sanity in this insane role as mother, wife, Aaronica, business owner, etc. and I’m so grateful to have found them.
Do you have sacred spaces that you go to re-center and balance yourself?