Some of you may remember that I had a blog called “The Mommy Memoirs” from when I had mini. This was originally posted 3 years ago on that blog:
i have a messy room. dirty laundry. more work than can be thought of. and a happy child.
today i was at work for literally 11 hours. i’ve been up since 4:30am. i’m exhausted and have so much to do that it’s mind blowing. but in all honesty, none of that matters too much. dirty laundry will still be there. my room will still be messy. work will still need to get done. but my child? well, she deserves me in the now.
not that i didn’t know this before, but being a single parent can get overwhelming. stress about money, chores, bills, work, and child rearing can all lead to feelings of a failed superwoman. but just as i thought i was going to explode today, one of my team members brought their baby in. he’s only a couple weeks old and so small but in the moment that i held him, it was as if mini was just born.
she’s a year and a half and hasn’t been his size for some time but it hit me then just how fast all of this has happened. my little baby k grew into my mini in what feels like overnight. i remember thinking that i couldn’t wait until she would stay awake longer, or roll over, or crawl, or eat real food, or walk. i always enjoyed her in the moment but couldn’t wait to get to the next one. but these moments go by so fast that i’m grasping at whispers of memories. memories of that first smile. or the first time i made her laugh. or the first time i felt like the worst mother ever. or how i cried my eyes out the first time she fell.
tonight we danced to al green as dinner was being made. she let me hold her and we slow danced. she sang with me. we giggled as if sharing a private joke. i breathed her in and just enjoyed the moment that we were in.
as parents, the next stage in our children’s lives are so exciting that we eagerly anticipate them instead of just enjoying the stage they’re in. the everyday laughters, cries, bickers, and snuggles are what make parenthood the joy that it is. those everyday moments make the lifetime worth living.